September 5, 2014

Janis and Gracie Mae bonding

Pat: OW! What are you doing?!

Janis: <panting> I dreamed I was suffocating!! I had to fight my way to consciousness with karate chops! And I don't even know karate...

Pat: You were thrashing around so much that you smacked me!

Janis: I was suffocating. There was this heavy feeling, like a giant hand pressing down -

Pat: That would be your dog, who was sleeping on your chest.... Why can't you have a job like normal people, with an alarm clock that goes off at regular times?

Janis: <offended> I do have a job like regular people. I'm a writer.

Pat: Are you writing today?

Janis: Yes of course I'm writing! I'm writing every day! When I'm not writing, I'm thinking about writing!!

Pat: That would be the deep thought process that takes place while you're playing computer solitaire?

Janis: <mumbling> There's a lot of evidence that you have to distract the conscious mind in order to let the creative mind flow.

Pat: Uh huh...

Janis & Tommy Emmanuel - photo Sukumar Balachandran

Actually, I've been trying to do everything at once, and it's not working very well. I'm slowly coming to the conclusion that what I could accomplish at 23, I can not accomplish at 63.

Naps, for instance. I never liked naps. I always thought they were a waste of time. Now I realize that without a nap, I myself rapidly become a waste of time.

Scheduling. This week I need to put together a syllabus for the Stella Adler School master classes, sort out upcoming tour dates, learn some new songs for my shows, arrange the guitar parts, get copies of The Singer & the Song to NARAS members I know, find someone new to mow the lawn, learn to work a new FTP program, pack for New York, and attend a barbecue with Tommy Emmanuel, who absolutely saved me during the Philadelphia Folk Festival because I had bronchitis so bad I can't even remember the show I did.

Pat's birthday Godzilla cake

Twenty years ago, getting all of this done would have been a piece of cake, but I just can't work as hard, or as long, as I used to. In fact, this has been a year of acknowledging that I am no longer 23, or even 43. Regardless of what my mind tells me, I find myself rising slowly, giving myself a few seconds so my brain can tell my legs we're upright.

For all the wonderful things age is bringing - perspective, both on the past and the present... gratitude, because I know how bad it could be... depth, of a different kind than I had in my youth... and the knowledge that fear is usually my own creation, not the outside world's - for all of that, there are an awful lot of down sides.

I can't run with my dog until we both drop from exhaustion. I can't do two shows a night. I can't mow the lawn myself, or buy the biggest size at Costco because it's three cents cheaper but weighs 40 pounds.

Most of all, I can't pretend I'm young. And sometimes that hurts! In my mind's eye, I am young! Full of boundless energy and optimism. Skinny. If I put on a few pounds, I can take them off in a few days. I can play three shows a night at the Main Point for a full week, hang with friends before and after, then wake up early, feeling fine.

Oh, I miss those days...

What don't I miss? My lack of patience. I always felt like something was gaining on me, and if I didn't move fast enough, I'd never accomplish anything with my life.

My lack of grace. The South has taught me that manners truly are morals. Waving to thank someone for not running over me, acknowledging a checkout person, all keep me part of the community. Being nice to strangers reminds me that this world is oiled by kindness.

My rush to judgment. I used to see the world in black and white, and I damned well knew what was right and what was wrong. Now, there's more grey in the picture, and I'm not so certain any more.

I'm being forced to realize that there will always be a zillion things I want to do, and I'll just get to a tiny percentage of them. I don't beat myself up over that any longer. In fact, I barely beat myself up over anything, any more.

Perhaps the wisdom of your elder years is that you can afford, once in a while, to let things slide. To take a deep breath, look up from your work, and notice that among the flowers you haven't pruned, there's a baby rabbit trying its best to fit the entire garden in its mouth. And to accept that often, what masquerades as laziness is just the intelligence to know that not pruning those flowers has provided a very good meal for one tiny being.

Well. Deep thoughts. In the meanwhile, here are some of what's going on!

- The Pearl Foundation received its first bequest, of $10,000, from someone none of us even knew! With the economy the way it is, living room concert requests have been down, so I'm even more grateful to people who contribute, allowing us to have given away three quarters of a million dollars in scholarships to date!

Melanie opening her handwritten lyrics - Mitch Olsen

- Offering fans the chance to order custom sheet music for their favorite songs, in return for a Pearl Foundation donation, has brought us four new transcriptions, with acknowledgment to the person whose donation made it possible at the bottom of each.

- We've got a few new "lyrics with chords" as well, and lyric sheets for two of the new songs on Strictly Solo, "I'm Still Standing" and "A Candle For the Flame."

- The Singer and the Song has been submitted to NARAS for Grammy consideration. You can download some of the songs, see portions of the "script", and read all about it on my site.

- We are not holding a "Christmas" sale this year, because I really do need some time off. However, we will be holding a January White Sale, featuring a few new items and autographing if you like! To be notified of the sale, please make sure you're either on my RSS feed, Facebook page, or email list!!

I'm still trying to figure out how to fund projects independently - and since I usually have half a dozen in the works at any time, doing a single project with Kickstarter or Gofundme et al doesn't make sense. So if you're part of the 1% <grin>, or in the market for a one-of-a-kind great guitar, check out the instruments I'm selling. The money is currently going to fund the Patience & Sarah audio book (co-narrated by Jean Smart!). If all goes well, I'll move on to manufacturing Strictly Solo (currently available only at shows) for the January White Sale, and editing/ mastering my narration of Mike Resnick's Kirinyaga.

Gracie Mae & fish - photo Nicole Campbell

Gracie Mae, a/k/a The Tiny Alien Dog, turned two recently and was given an orange rubber fish to celebrate. It's remarkable how much calmer she is now - at least, until she manages to catch the fish!

We spent a glorious week at Boothbay Harbor, Maine... Inspired by that, Pat and I are intending to take a month next year and drive up and down the East Coast, looking at towns by the water. We both love the ocean, and Nashville being seven hours from the nearest wave, we're wondering whether we couldn't downsize, then spend part of the year looking at the sea, instead of a sea of traffic.

Boothbay Harbor

I just looked at my tour dates, and realized there are a lot more of them than I'd thought!! I'm going to get off the computer now and go practice my guitar parts...

Hoping you are the same!

Janis

• Previous Updates
• December 31, 2019
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• End Of Year 2010
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