Home Link
  • Janis Ian & Shadow Morton backstage at The Tonight Show - photo by Gilbert for Life Magazine
  • Janis Ian & producer Shadow Morton recording - photo by Gilbert for Life Magazine
  • Janis Ian & Joni Mitchell backstage - photo by Peter Cunningham
  • Janis Ian & Odetta - photo by Peter Cunningham
  • Janis Ian & Steve Goodman 01 - photo by Peter Cunningham
  • Janis Ian & Steve Goodman 02 - photo by Peter Cunningham
  • Janis Ian  & Taj Mahal - photo by Peter Cunningham
  • Janis Ian with Bruce Springsteen, radio personality Ed Sciaky, & Billy Joel backstage at the Academy of Music, Philadelphia - photo by Peter Cunningham
  • Janis Ian, Mary Black, & Joan Baez backstage at Joan's show - photo by Joe Bangay
  • Janis Ian with the Abfab girls, backstage at the Royal Albert
Unreleased 1: Mary's EyesWorking Without A Net: Live

Cosmopolitan Girl

Janis Ian

I was only
twenty-nine and lonely as a bull moose in heat
when he came along, singing that same old song
I said, You know I'm entering my prime
Thirty-one to thirty-nine
Bet you've read the articles, too
Statistically speaking, my hormones are creeping
I can feel them moving in the night
But like the articles say - I am woman
I can wait until it's right

I want to be a cosmopolitan, cosmopolitan, cosmopolitan girl
Take half a dozen lovers, teach them what i've seen
in between the covers of my favorite magazine
I want to read statistics, plan logistics
Live my life to the hilt
without shame, without pain, without guilt

I hit thirty
waiting for my endocrines to match the questionnaires
He grew impatient. I said - I'm saving myself
Meantime, let's do some therapy
Take a course in co-dependency
and while we're at it, you could lose some weight
We've got so much to share - no, don't touch me there
What's another year between friends?
The wait will be worth it
I'm bound to be perfect by then

I want to be a cosmopolitan, cosmopolitan, cosmopolitan girl
I'm reading Kama Sutra - I bought it on cassette
I found a chiropractor who can limber up my neck
I want that first time flawless, really lawless
Want to enjoy it to the hilt
without shame, without pain, without guilt

The big day finally came
There was a note on the door
It said - Here's a little something to remember me by
I've fallen for a waitress who accepts her cellulite

This is a cosmopolitan, cosmopolitan, cosmopolitan gift
And I know that you'll appreciate it when you think of me
all those empty nights while you're protecting your virginity
This gift is flawless, this gift is cordless
so enjoy it to the hilt
without shame, without pain, without guilt
without shame, without pain, without guilt
No shame, no pain, no guilt

© Taosongs Two. All rights reserved; international copyright secured.

Tour Dates

click on any date for full information
click again to close that date

All tour dates updated on December 17, 2018

  • Thursday, January 31st

    Island Library, Holmes Beach, FL

    Island Library

    Holmes Beach, FL

    Phone: 941-778-6341

    Visit the venue's website

    Island Library
    5701 Marina Drive
    Holmes Beach, FL 34217
    Janis will be speaking about her career as a performing songwriter and author of the Grammy-winning audiobook "Society's Child: My Autobiography", along with "The Tiny Mouse", a children's book. The talk will be illustrated with a few songs and a Q&A. Merchandise will be offered for sale (cash/check preferred) to benefit The Pearl Foundation and the Island Library equally, and Janis is happy to sign items after the talk is over. For information please call 941-778-6341. * Please note, this is a co-venture with the Waterline Marriott next door to the library. The actual talk will take place at the Waterline, piped into the library and then offered on line. Expect laughter and tears on gorgeous Anna Maria Island! 

  • Wednesday, March 6th

    Tiedtke Concert Hall, Winter Park, FL

    Tiedtke Concert Hall

    Winter Park, FL

    Phone: 407-646-2233

    Visit the venue's website

    Master Class - Free Event.

  • Thursday, March 7th

    Tiedtke Concert Hall, Winter Park, FL

    Tiedtke Concert Hall

    Winter Park, FL

    Phone: 407-646-2233

    Visit the venue's website

    Free show.

  • Thursday, August 8th

    Egyptian Theatre, Park City, UT

    Egyptian Theatre

    Park City, UT

    Phone: 435-649-9371

    Visit the venue's website

    Master Class with Livingston Taylor.

    10AM to 2PM

  • Friday, August 9th

    Egyptian Theatre, Park City, UT

    Egyptian Theatre

    Park City, UT

    Phone: 435.649.9371

    Visit the venue's website

    With Livingston Taylor.

    Tickets on sale May 1, 2019.

  • Saturday, August 10th

    Egyptian Theatre, Park City, UT

    Egyptian Theatre

    Park City, UT

    Phone: 435-649-9371

    Visit the venue's website

    With Livingston Taylor.

    Tickets on sale May 1, 2019.

  • Sunday, August 11th

    Egyptian Theatre, Park City, UT

    Egyptian Theatre

    Park City, UT

    Phone: 435-649-9371

    Visit the venue's website

    With Livingston Taylor.

    Tickets on sale May 1, 2019.

  • Wednesday, August 14th

    Ridgefield Playhouse, Ridgefield, CT

    Ridgefield Playhouse

    Ridgefield, CT

    Phone: 203-438-5795

    Visit the venue's website

    With Livingston Taylor.

[full tour dates list]

Copyright Janis IanPrivacy Policy & Terms Of AgreementSitemapWebsite By Digital Vision Media