A Tragedy

[Oak Kitten]

These two young women were apparently lovers. When they went missing, relatives found a diary of one of the girls in which she wrote that she wanted to die with her true love. They were found together, dead from carbon monoxide poisoning. Such a sad story that these two beautiful young women felt that the world had no place for them.

A Day for Many Tears And Many Questions
Family, Friends Mourn Potomac Teen

By Donna St. George
Washington Post Staff Writer
Thursday, February 8, 2007; Page B01

It was what the rabbi called "the saddest of days" -- a snow-frosted Wednesday morning in Potomac, where 800 people turned out at the B'nai Tzedek synagogue to mourn a teenage girl whose story had captured their hopes and fears and whispered prayers.

Rachel Samantha Smith, 16, a well-liked A student at Montgomery County's Wootton High School, had been found dead by police five days earlier in an apparent double suicide in rural Loudoun County with one of her closest friends, 18-year-old Rachel Lacy Crites.


Rachel Smith died with a friend in an apparent double suicide.

The teenagers had been missing for nearly two weeks. As police, friends and strangers searched for them, they became known as "the Rachels," two young women who left their homes and families apparently believing their troubles were insurmountable.

Now, the younger Rachel was being laid to rest -- her family in the seats nearest her pine coffin: mother, father, sister, brother, grandparents and other relatives.

"The pain of this tragedy is felt by the entire community," Rabbi Stuart Weinblatt told the mourners, who filled row after row of chairs. The grief was so profound, he acknowledged, that it raised the question: "Are any more tears left in any of us?''

Clearly, there were.

They were shed as Rachel was remembered for her warmth and her wide smile, her touch of sarcasm, her love of animals, her loyalty toward friends.

They came as bits of her life were recounted: riding horses with her aunt and uncle in London and Argentina, attending summer camp, cycling the C&O Canal with her father, raising money to improve conditions for dogs at an animal shelter.

They were streaked across the face of a close friend who spoke about how lonely she is now, about how she and Rachel were the kind of friends who "finished each other's sentences."

Weinblatt spoke of Rachel's parents -- Marian, a preschool teacher at the synagogue, and Paul, an insurance and financial consultant. The family once owned a bagel shop in Montgomery County.

"After the store closed," the rabbi said, "she apparently never ate another bagel."

For a brief moment, there was laughter.

This, he said, was a reflection of "her deep, abiding sense of loyalty."

Taren Parsons, a friend and classmate, recalled Rachel's love of poetry and books, the hours they spent reading in a hammock, the games of Scrabble and Pictionary, the "countless movies" they watched and their "shared ex-boyfriends."

Rachel's nickname, she noted, was "Pi," a number that stretches into infinity, which she said was a comfort now, a suggestion that Rachel would always carry on.

There were few direct references to the circumstances of Rachel's death, apparently from carbon monoxide poisoning, and no mention of Crites, the friend with whom she died, but Weinblatt observed that "none of us can truly feel or imagine what Rachel must have been feeling."

Crites's father attended the service. His daughter's funeral will be Saturday, at St. Martin of Tours Church in Gaithersburg.

As Weinblatt closed the morning service yesterday, he appealed directly to students grappling with Rachel's death and reminded them that "life is a series of peaks and valleys." While troubles may seem big, he said, none is ever too overwhelming to work out.

He went on: "Each of us should know that we are never alone."

[Darlene]

Wow Oak, That is a tragedy. It is so sad that two young girls felt they had to die because of the love they had for one another and the fear of what it life awaited them. I wished they had someone to talk to about their love in this great land. I love America, but the prejudices of this country that would cause two young lovers take their lives......makes me very, very mad and very, very sad.....

[Mimi]

This story for me is a series of tragedies. First that two young women were so alone and desperate with their love that they rather wanted to die together. Second that during the funeral obviously no one spoke about why the girls had decided to die, that nobody dared or wanted to think about the role religion and relgious leaders played in here. I'm sure the girls would be still alive if they hadn't been that afraid of the reaction of their communities, families etc.

And this last sentence of the Rabbi makes me really really furious: "Each of us should know that we are never alone." Sorry, it's too late now.

Mimi

The two Rachels are in my prayers.

[Oak Kitten]

Hear, hear, Mimi

You are exactly right. Unless and until those who are now mourning the loss of these youg women examine and acknowledge their own complicity in bringing it about, things will never change, and as you said, it is already too late for the "two Rachels."

Oak

[ponytail]

That is sad. It reminds me of a tragedy we had in Hershey a few years back, where two young men died together and media coverage "politely" avoided the "gay aspect" for the sake of the family. The story affected Dave so much that he wrote a novel about it (still, not surprisingly, unpublished).

[Mimi]

Just searched the web for some more information... and I'm even sadder and more furious now than I was before because obviously people do neither want to see nor to think about what kind of tragedy happened there and why it happened.
WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN? WHY DID PARENTS NOT WANT TO SEE? WOULD THEY HAVE LOVED THEIR DAUGHTERS LESS IF THEY HAD KNOWN? OR DID THEY KNOW IT?
All this reminds me of thoughts and feelings I had as teenager thinking about the future day X of my coming out that was to come sooner or later.

Mimi

[mixtymotions]

Very, very sad indeed. Rachel Crites had a blog site, with Rachel Smith, "Pi" listed as one of her friends. I read one of Rachel Crites' poems - chilling.

[Judy]

"See what a scourge is laid upon your hate
That heaven finds means to kill your joys with love" - Shakespeare

Seems, as a world, we've not come very far in 400 years.

[Oak Kitten]

That is a very poignant quote, Judy.

Oak

[DaveM]

I've seen cases like this before, and as some have observed, it is always treated publicly as "two young people who committed suicide together"....the reality is never discussed. One cannot help but imagine whether the parents involved finally "get it", or whether all concerned just go on pretending.

How can someone feel so alone and out of place that they feel there is literally no place for them on the earth? THAT, at least, is something that is the result of nurture (if that is the right word) rather than nature. We have here the inevitable result of all the hate being preached against homosexuals. The true tragedy is that those who screamed hatred at "the Rachels" may well have no inkling of the reponsibility they bear.

The world is a bit smaller for the loss of these two young women. Let us honor them with memory. And hope that from them, someone will learn a great lesson. The more someones the better.