Wedding dress code

[saxman]

Im attending a wedding this weekend and The Bride is a friend of my daughters from birth. It will be held at the Santa Barbara Zoo of all places.ive know the Bride Kimberly for 25 years and she knows that all i own are Jeans and Big Dog Shirts [ Big Dog is a Brand ] very casual, i also Only have sandles .i dont own a pair of shoes , havent in 38 years. i dont own a pair of socks unless you count the pair my daughter Lonnye bought me when i went to Philly when it was snowing , LOL anyway Kim told me when they were planning the wedding that i could come as i was. and she would expect me to be who i am and wear what i want , Just as long as i go .My Ex wife doesent think its proper for me to go in sandles and jeans .she wants me to rent a suit. YUK . i have not worn a suit since i played with Harry James in the early 70s . i would not know how to act. and i would be VERY unconfortable . its at a ZOO for goodness sakes. My question is ? should i go as i am or Fake it out of respect. Ive been told by the Bride and Groom to Just be there so im going with that . what do you think ? am i being dissrespectfull ? Thanks

[aabram]

Mike, there is a dress code for weddings, but I never worry about it when I'm ringing for them!!!! If the bride and groom don't mind, why should anyone else?????

Go in whatever you feel comfortable in, you're still doing what the most important people there want :)

lol Annabel

[Oak Kitten]

Mike,

If the bride specifically said she wants you to come as you are, you are golden. Do it.

As far as the preference of your ex-wife is concerned, The operative term here is EX.
You are under no obligation to honor her preferences over those of the bride.

Oak

[invsbl_wife]

If the couple getting married don't care what you wear, then wear what you're comfortable in. Escpecially since it's at the zoo!! That type of setting would say to me that it's going to be very casual compared to a big church wedding. As long as the clothes and your feet are clean... what difference does it make?!

Have a great time!

[saxman]

Since its at The Zoo.,,,,Im going to try to get under that barrbed wire fence to find the Crocodile with the Smile. Who Knows maybe ill fall in love !

[Jim in Chattanooga, TN]

Mike,

Skip the wedding. Send you regrets...and go see Janis Ian perform instead.

Jim

[lucille]

Hi Mike - long time no speak.

I reckon you should get some "Crocodile Hunter" (Steve Irwin) khaki gear. Especially as it is in a zoo. Crikey mate, that's zoo attire after all. :D Don't go jumping on any crocs though - you might kill 'em. :)

[DaveM]

Be you, Mike....that'll be plenty. And if someone should raise an eyebrow--that's their problem, not yours.

Only firm and fast rule is: don't show up in a wedding dress.

[Wes]

Go as a Giraffe!

[Eva]

I don't know about American forms of politeness so maybe I am being too Dutch here... but if the couple who is going to marry say you'll be good in your jeans, t-shirt and sandals then I think that is what you should wear. Let's see it as a 'Saxman Mike Wedding Dresscode'. I'd say who cares what the ex says. As Oak says: she is ex. In this case where it doesn't involve her you are not obliged to listen to her if you don't like what she is saying.

Sooooooo... take a good shower, comb your hair and beard put on clean clothes and you'll be fine. If you really want to make a good impression you can iron your clothes, clean and shine your sandals and go to a barber foor a hair- and beardtrim (don't forget hairs that peep out of your nose and ears!) But whatever you do: don't wear socks in sandals... :eek: You'll be fine, really.

Eva

[Mimi]

Hi Mike,

I usually dress very casual - as comfy as possible - but I love to wear my black suit for weddings... sometimes combined with a well ironed white shirt, sometimes more colorful...

It's a bit like a game for me because my Mom fighted with me about dresses and skirt for years;)

Wear what YOU like and you will feel good!

Mimi

[Mimi]

But whatever you do: don't wear socks in sandals... :eek:
Eva

AMEN!!!!!!

[Dee]

You are not being disrespectful in the least, Mike. You've consulted the couple about it and they've told you what their wishes are. It's their wedding after all, right?

[Randy & Betty in Pa]

Morning all...


Hey Mike!!!!

Ok, here's my .29 cents worth. Weddings (which like funerals I try to avoid) are a very special day for somebody... Though I would agree that the manner of dress is less important then your attendance, if I were in your sandal covered socks I would rent the suit if I was going to attend. I even have reasons that I say that... And yes one is respect for the couple to be wed (and in all honesty I don't call respect in any form "fake"), Another reason is I wouldn't want to cause indirect or undue pressure on the bride or groom on this day with them being badgered by their friends and family asking them why someone is so dressed. The Bride and Groom could care less and invited you out of love, but the day of the wedding they will be the one that the small minded people will be whispering at. Of course your friends the newly weds will defend you to the whispering idiots but the fact that they need to do that will quite possibly cause some degree of discomfort and distraction to them. I guess my position is that as it is their special day I as a friend would not want to risk doing anything to distract them from the happiness that they endevoring to enter into.

Another reason Mike, those that know you will expect you to show up without a suit... Shock the hell out of them... Ten years from now the Bride and Groom will be showing someone the wedding photo album and someone will ask who is the Santa Clausian guy in the suit, and they will be able to say Oh thats the Saxman, He wore a suit JUST for us...

The day is about them and if you attend and wear a suit as out of character as it may be for you, it will make their day just a bit better. Don't let it bother you that you chose to LOWER your dress standards for that one day, just think of it as part of your special wedding gift to them.

One other fashion hint Mike... If you choose to rent a suit avoid the temptation to rent the red suit with White trim and big black boots and belt...

Thats just my opinion, whatever you do will be right Mike. "Clothes don't make the man". Oh wait, thats was a sign I read over the entrance to a nudist resort....Funny, now that I think of it the sign over the exit said "Thats certainly no big thing"

In any case whatever you decide about attire... If the people are special to you by all means go.... Your being there would make their day just a bit better... Oh and for the wedding gift... Trust me they won't need another toaster. Think about some Janis Ian CD's to get their honeymoon fired up the right way right from the start!!!!

Take care my fiend....Mike, Betty and I miss you...

Best to Lonnye and the herd!!!

R. from Pa.

[Eva]

AMEN!!!!!!
I knew you (as a German) would recognise this particulair fashionproblem Mimi... ;)


if I were in your sandal covered socks
Now THIS is a shocking sentence... :eek:


Another reason Mike, those that know you will expect you to show up without a suit... Shock the hell out of them...
This reasoning sounds interesting. It might shock you ex too. "Oh my goodness, he actually did what I said. He wears a suit!" :eek: It might work... heheheh...


One other fashion hint Mike... If you choose to rent a suit avoid the temptation to rent the red suit with White trim and big black boots and belt...
I disagree. First of all boots are better than socks in sandals. And secondly you will be sure that everybody recognises you. They can never say: "Oh, Saxman Mike wasn't there."


Oh and for the wedding gift... Trust me they won't need another toaster. Think about some Janis Ian CD's to get their honeymoon fired up the right way right from the start!!!!
Finally the man says something intelligent.

Eva

PS: Send us pictures of you in your outfit, Mike. Whatever you will look like.

[Mimi]

I knew you (as a German) would recognise this particulair fashionproblem Mimi... ;)

Guess how I recognize German men when I'm abroad... for example on the forum in Pompei, 40 degrees celsius in the shadow... :confused: :eek: :o

Mimi

P.S.: It gets even worse if you have a look on the color those gentlemen prefer for their socks... it gives you a cold shower

[Eva]

Guess how I recognize German men when I'm abroad... for example on the forum in Pompei, 40 degrees celsius in the shadow... :confused: :eek: :o

Mimi

P.S.: It gets even worse if you have a look on the color those gentlemen prefer for their socks... it gives you a cold shower
God, that sounds awful, Mimi. Shall I tell you the worst part? It's women too, Mimi. Women too. Of all ages... It had hoped it was just a 70's thing. But noooooooooo... :eek: And now that Birkenstocks sduddenly became all 'hip' (how in the world did THAT happen???) I fear for the worst...

But back to Mike.... No socks in sandals Mike. Whatever else you do, please don't do that...

Eva

[RedjackRyan]

Where shoes are concerned.. Eva's word is law..

[Mimi]

Shall I tell you the worst part? It's women too, Mimi. Women too. Of all ages... It had hoped it was just a 70's thing. But noooooooooo... :eek:

I'm sorry, I have to admit that I even caught my Mom flatfooted with socks in sandals some years ago...


And now that Birkenstocks suddenly became all 'hip' (how in the world did THAT happen???) I fear for the worst... Eva

:o hope it isn't a tooooo BIG problem for you to have seen me in Birkenstocks in your house?!?!?!?! They ARE kind of comfortable :rolleyes: but don't worry I don't wear them outside with socks, I swear, my Pirate Queen.

Well, shoes and comfort... perhaps that's the explanation for Janis' choice when it comes to shoes?

Mimi

[mixtymotions]

I'd go for the Don Johnson/Miami Vice look - lightweight suit and t-shirt. Sandals with a summer suit are acceptable, as are moccasins. Indulge and buy yourself a fabulous new belt. Compromise is always a good thing. Do NOT buy NEW SHOES for the wedding - you don't want blisters interfering with shakin your groove thing on the dance floor!

[DaveM]

"Beware of enterprises that require new clothes" --Henry David Thoreau.

[Eva]

Thank you for your support Redjack.


"Beware of enterprises that require new clothes" --Henry David Thoreau.
"Unless you enjoy shopping for and wearing new clothes" -- Eva
(but if you don't then go back to what Henry and Dave said)

Eva

[Judy]

Gosh, Mike- I'm afraid I go along more with Randy. I think there is a certain decorum that should be observed for special events otherwise traditions are lost and one day just blurs into another. While I don't think you'd need to go the complete route of suit and shiney shoes, I do think you can compromise and show your friends that you are tipping your hat in respect to them. A hawaiian shirt and loose slacks with your sandals would be just fine (I agree that this is no time to go with new shoes.)
I know they take you as you are, Mike, and that is a wonderful thing - and you, I am sure, take them as they are. And this day what they are is getting married in a day set apart from all others, which merits special recognition (a dress code, if you will.)
Whatever you do, I trust you will have a splendid time!
Judy

[Eva]

It must be my lack of knowledge of north American culture. But is a Hawaiian shirt fit for a wedding? :eek: It's such a busy pattern! In my eyes it's fit for a day on the beach. But that's little Dutch me.

Eva

[Mimi]

:confused: Let's have a look at...

http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w154/Mimi300867/2003wedPatJanis11.jpg

and

http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w154/Mimi300867/2003wedgroup02.jpg

Mimi;)

[Marcia Drummergal]

Mimi, you beat me to it!!

Bat and I were married in Mexican wedding shirts.....

Marcia :)

[Mimi]

Mimi, you beat me to it!!

Bat and I were married in Mexican wedding shirts.....

Marcia :)

Marcia, I thought of Janis and Pat immediately...

How do Mexican wedding shirts look like? I have no idea - any photos available to enlighten me? You must know that I'm a great lover of shirts of any kind. I'm especially proud of some African shirts in my collection.

Mimi

[Elliott]

I just wonder where in the zoo the wedding will be held. If it's near the monkey house I say everyone should wear trashbags, but if it's going to be in the reptile house I think it would be rude to wear alligator shoes of any kind. For God's sake, don't wear fur unless it's your own. I vote everyone goes naked!

[Dee]

http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k267/deemark/Photo%20Shoebox%20IV/gorillasuit.jpg

It is a zoo after all.

(Just kidding Mike) http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k267/deemark/Emoticons/newwink.jpg

[DaveM]

There are a fair number of Mexican wedding shirts on eBay--they're actually pretty cool.

[saxman]

I think i should go in a dress . but cant decide the color. Thanks guys for all the GREAT advice . in the end i think i will just go as myself. New Jeans a New Shirt that my Daughter just called me about . that she Bought me for the Wedding. and my sandels NO Socks . my goodness who wears socks with Sandles, Thats the 11 th commandment . Thall Shall Not wear socks with sandles. it will be about 100 degrees at the zoo sunday if it were cooler i would wear the gorilla suit. i liked that one. Thanks for the input. Randy come on out to Calif for the Janis Concert in March Bring Betty i have plenty room . for anyone to stay . see ya i will let you aftyer sunday how it went.

[Dee]

if it were cooler i would wear the gorilla suit. i liked that one.

I should caution you tho Mike, do NOT be carrying bananas at the same time.

It could get messy in there! :p

[Eva]

Hawaiian shirts and Mexican shirts for weddings... Must be an American thing :o But hey, each to his/her own, I'd say :)


I think i should go in a dress . but cant decide the color.
Great idea Mike. But it's really not done anywhere to look more beautiful than the bride.


and my sandels NO Socks . my goodness who wears socks with Sandles, Thats the 11 th commandment . Thall Shall Not wear socks with sandles.
I am SO glad we understand eachother on this one...

There is only one more thing I need to say:
We want pictures of you looking all smart in your weddingoutfit!

Eva

[mixtymotions]

Hmmm, I had to see what a Mexican Wedding shirt really was, so I looked at the listings on eBay. Interestingly enough, the labels say "Made in Puerto Rico". I've only seen this style of shirt worn by Phillipino (sp?) barbers and nail technicians from Viet Nam.

[Marcia Drummergal]

Hmmm, I had to see what a Mexican Wedding shirt really was, so I looked at the listings on eBay. Interestingly enough, the labels say "Made in Puerto Rico". I've only seen this style of shirt worn by Phillipino (sp?) barbers and nail technicians from Viet Nam.

Geez, when I get home I'll have to find a picture to show you. I thought the shirts were rather elegant myself.....

Marcia :)

[aabram]

Mike, just enjoy the wedding tomorrow or whenever it is. Go in whatever you going to go in, and ignore your ex-wife and her bleating. It would never do to hire a suit and then end up with it smelling of zoos when you hand it back anyway. Enjoy, my friend

Annabel

[mixtymotions]

Geez, when I get home I'll have to find a picture to show you. I thought the shirts were rather elegant myself.....

Marcia :)
I'd LOVE to see your wedding photos!

Maybe the ones on eBay weren't a good representation? What I saw were 4 pocket shirts with embroidery down the center of left & right front. I can understand why these would also make for functional attire for barbers and nail techs as they have the bottom pockets of smocks, with more style.

[Dee]

anyway Kim told me when they were planning the wedding that i could come as i was. and she would expect me to be who i am and wear what i want , Just as long as i go.

Considering that it is Kim’s wedding and that the most important thing is she wants you there, I hope you will do as she asked and just go enjoy the wedding this weekend, Mike.

Just be your genuine self and don't worry about silly traditions like tuxedos and suits.

[Randy & Betty in Pa]

Hey Mike...

Is that the Kim that Betty and I met in Philadelphia at World Cafe?

Best

R. & B

[hoops]

mike, this just in. kim says go as you...then go as you. you're perfect just the way you are
peace
hoops

[Marcia Drummergal]

I'd LOVE to see your wedding photos!

Maybe the ones on eBay weren't a good representation? What I saw were 4 pocket shirts with embroidery down the center of left & right front. I can understand why these would also make for functional attire for barbers and nail techs as they have the bottom pockets of smocks, with more style.

Well, now Bat says that they weren't "Mexican wedding shirts!" And if you look at those on ebay, they are more the "Guayabera" style shirt. She was the one who called them Mexican wedding shirts when we picked them out!! Oh well, here is a picture from our special day!

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c57/margal1/MarciaandBarb.jpg

Marcia :)

[saxman]

Everyone is named Kim in calif . some valley girls spell it Kym to be different. That kim you met is my daughter kim . the kim thats getting married is her friend kim . there are kims everywhere you look ! LOL

[Randy & Betty in Pa]

Saxkim, thanks for the clarification....See you in Virginia January 26th:o

Best to you and all of your zillions of Kimsssssssssss...

R. (with the crewcut) from Pa

PS... Marcia you and dear Bat look wonderful... Betty and I miss you all

[Mimi]

Marcia and Bat,

you look so beautiful! Even if it's not a Mexican wedding shirt.

Mimi

[DaveM]

Lovely picture Marcia and Bat....and may the love just grow and grow.

[mixtymotions]

Thank you for the photo Marcia! Those shirts are indeed elegant and much more attractive than what I found in my search. I like the slacks too - are they embellished with roses?

[hoops]

Marcia and Bat,
lovely wedding photo's. i knew you made a lovely couple, but whew!! you look FINE!!
peace
hoops

[Marcia Drummergal]

Thank you for the photo Marcia! Those shirts are indeed elegant and much more attractive than what I found in my search. I like the slacks too - are they embellished with roses?

A good eye you've got there Mixty. Yes, embroidered roses. And I would KILL to be able to get back into those slacks but unfortunately, ever since our trip to Montreal the following year, I gained weight and gained weight and gained....well, you get the idea. So now they just hang in the closet for me to look at!

Thanks all for the kind words!

Marcia :)

[saxman]

I went s i was Just me and my sandles . it was a fantastic Wedding. my daughter alyssa was the Maid of honer . she gave a wonderfull speach about how she has always know Kim in her life . they met when they were 3. they are both 25 now. This is the first time i saw My own daughter as a woman . i actually cried when she was talking . anyway , i was asked by several guys that were there in the hot sun,[ no shade ] dressed in suit and ties . dripping with sweat , How i managed to be able to come and be comfortable. LOL i was the only one that was not sweating . . The Music started playing when we sat for dinnir and i heard 3 of my girls yell out to me DAD ! from 3 different parts of the area. Dad guess whos playing . Like i didnt Know Janis voice. LOL The Bride and Groom were at my house a few months ago and all i played was Janis . Well they loved her so much They used 2 of her songs for the dinner music. I felt so Proud that i was able to turn People on to Janis . A Proud Dad indeed. Kids Learn when it comes to Great Music. After the party i was leaving and got Lost in a Dark Zoo all by myself . It waas not exactally a fun thing for me to get stuck in a jungle a night. i didnt panic and found someone to help me get out. for a minute i thought i was back in Nam .i took a wrong turn down a dark path . Bummer . ! anyway i had a Blast and saw Kim and Ken get married .She is like one of my own daughters ive known since she was a baby . it was wonderfull. Thanks everyone for you feedback and the Nice Pictures.

[Dee]

Glad you enjoyed yourself, Mike! Or should I say, Mr Cool? http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k267/deemark/Emoticons/newwink.jpg

[invsbl_wife]

R. (with the crewcut) from Pa


:eek: :eek: :eek:

Did I miss something somewhere??

[invsbl_wife]

Mike, it sounds like you had a wonderful time (except for the getting lost part!) and I'm glad you went in what you were comfortable wearing. It's quite a grand moment when you first see your "child" as an adult, isn't it?

[Eva]

It sounds like a good day Mike. I am glad you had such a good one. Although I am sorry to hear you felt so bad when you got lost. It must have been really frightening. Big hug, Saxman.

Eva

[RedjackRyan]

Glad you enjoyed the wedding, and ended up being the coolest one there (in many ways) Congrats to the happy couple!

[aabram]

Great you had a good time, Mike. :)

I can't phone Darlene again this week, but when I do I'm sure she'll be out and about again.

Annabel